From the time that we are small children, we are typically raised to look at the bright side or silver lining. We are told to rejoice in optimism when something goes wrong. Mentors explain that adversity is a teacher, and we should look for the lesson when it feels like the world is dark.
That is helpful, of course. However, researchers have recently found that rushing to this positive narrative can leave no space to feel the necessary feelings. This useful practice can turn into quick avoidance. If we start to compartmentalize experiences, we are setting ourselves up for pain.
The more we disregard our feelings, the more we will run into huge problems. That is, we will shove our emotions deep down, yet they will come out in other areas of our lives. Not being okay is actually okay and sometimes necessary for growth.
If you have started therapy, understand that it is a lifelong process. That doesn’t mean it will take a lifetime to heal, it just means that it will take time.
The lessons we create end up replacing the actual learning. What we do is we end up with a fake system of feeling better. Someone asks us if we’re okay, and we respond affirmatively even if it’s not true. It is not helpful to stay in that mindset.
We must step away from this and allow it to be acceptable for everyone that it is okay to not be okay. When you start this healing journey, it is essential to stop and take a break if it gets too overwhelming.
If you don’t give yourself space to rest, you may feel like your emotions are too much to bear. Before you know it, you’re back to avoiding it entirely.
If you know someone is struggling, you must reach out to them and see how you can be helpful. When doing so, make sure to remain sympathetic and avoid forcing anyone to open up about what they are struggling with.
If you put pressure on someone to open up, they will feel attacked and not supported. Instead of opening up, they will shut themselves away.
Avalon Malibu is available to help anyone through the recovery process if you or a loved one are ready to get help. We have different therapeutic approaches to helping a person heal and get better. If you are ready, call today at (844) 857-5992.
