In the 12-step fellowship-based programs that exist today, there is an important step that we must continuously practice. As people who suffer from substance use disorder, we have done a lot of things we are not proud of. We may have stolen from people because we needed alcohol and drugs to get “well.” We reacted and fought people. We burned bridges. We hurt those around us that we loved the most. We did things we now feel shame about.
What we must remember is that we are not those people. That was our disorder in action. We did most of those things under the influence of mind-altering substances. We avoided creditors and did whatever we needed to do to get what we needed.
We are not bad people, we were just sick. In the 12 steps, steps eight and nine are all about amending past behaviors. We may feel afraid when we think of confronting these things or feel excited to amend things right away.
It is important to remember that seven vital steps come before the amends step. The steps are in order for a reason, and by the time you reach steps eight and nine, you will be ready for them. We must get a sponsor to guide us through these steps because sometimes there are amends we should not make conventionally.
We have to be careful about what is revealed during the amends process. In some cases, if a person does not know, it is in their best interest that we do not tell them. It is not fair to tell someone something because of our own guilt. Instead, it is usually suggested that we make amends in a different way. This is where having a sponsor is especially important.
It is necessary to remember that when we make amends, we are admitting our wrongs. This means we continuously attempt to correct our behavior and strive for better attitudes and actions.
The freedom that comes with making amends is incredible. It may seem scary at first; however, it is worthwhile.
We found that we were able to mend relationships we thought we would never have again. Our relationships with our friends and families blossomed, and we found a new peace we had never experienced before.
At Avalon Malibu, 12 step and non 12 step techniques are utilized in helping individuals with substance use disorder. If you or someone you know is struggling with substance use disorder, Avalon Malibu can help immediately. Call today at (844) 857-5992
