In recovering from codependency, detaching with love is the central pillar to finding healing for yourself. The principle of detaching with love is not just limited to use by people who struggle with codependency; its message can be translated and used by anyone in recovery from unhealthy behaviors, addictions, or someone struggling to watch a loved one continually abuse drugs or relapse.
At the core of detaching with love is allowing someone else to make their own mistakes but not at your expense any longer. Permitting yourself to detach opens up space for you to put your needs first and welcome self-preservation into your life.
Helping Others By Detaching
In the world of codependency and addiction, boundaries often blur between responsible parties. Getting into patterns of controlling or rescuing the other person only stunts growth, maturity, and self-efficacy for them in the long run.
When you love someone, you can let them go and allow them to take responsibility for themselves. Sometimes when you first detach, it can feel or look selfish to the person you detach from, but it is the ultimate act of love through surrendering to the freedom we all have over ourselves.
What We Learn From Detaching With Love
When we let go of trying to control and instead allow what needs to be, our relationship with life and others becomes healthier. Detaching with love offers us many lessons when we engage it.
We can learn to set healthy boundaries with loved ones, listen to our needs and feelings and put them first, express our feelings, not take on excess worry and control for others. Instead, we choose acceptance and trust, and how to stop enabling others. By taking responsibility for ourselves, we invite others to take full responsibility for themselves and let any worry or fear for their well-being go.
Deciding to detach with love is an opportunity to care for your needs first and allow others to do the same for themselves. By letting go of these bonds we hold to others that only provide us false security, we can grow a healthy, strong relationship with ourselves. Avalon Malibu is one of California’s only residential treatment centers treating both mental health disorders and substance use addiction. At Avalon, we offer a continuum of high-quality, integrated care that meets the many needs of our patients. Contact us when you are ready to take the first steps towards lasting recovery at (844) 857-5992.
