Cultivating the ability to feel safe being alone, especially if you are used to being around others to feel regulated, can be isolating, challenging, and confusing. While being in healthy and reciprocal relationships with others is important for wellness, it is just as important to have the ability to spend time with yourself to increase your sense of self, build self-confidence, and begin to trust yourself.
Setting Boundaries
One of the biggest barriers to carving out space to spend time alone is the desire to constantly be on and say yes to everything and everyone other than yourself. To ensure there is time in your week to spend a while by yourself, it can be helpful to explore what boundaries may need to be set with yourself and with others to leave space on your calendar for you.
Doing What You Enjoy
Spending time alone does not have to look like sitting on your couch and staring at the wall, although it can if that is how you enjoy unwinding and simply being. It could look like taking yourself out for a meal, going to a coffee shop, exploring a new part of the city you live in, or beginning a new hobby you have been interested in but never tried.
If spending time alone feels uncomfortable, that is okay. It can help to be mindful of the thoughts and feelings that come up when spending time alone and allow these thoughts and feelings to be present without taking too much stock in them.
Enjoying Your Own Company
Part of healing includes beginning to experience self-acceptance and inner peace. As you spend time by yourself, you will begin to feel more acquainted with the real you. You can better understand your likes and dislikes, the things that bring you peace, and who you are when you have no one to perform for or impress. You can begin to enjoy your own company and feel safe just being who you are when you are alone.
Spending time alone can feel hard, especially when you are used to being surrounded by others. Letting go of others’ influence over you and old ways of being to discover inner peace and your authenticity is part of the process of recovery. There are many ways to spend time alone and cultivate feelings of doing so. At Avalon Malibu, we can help you discover what feeling safe to be alone means for you. If you are ready to begin your recovery journey, call Avalon Malibu today at (844) 857-5992.
