Conflict is not always easy to resolve. Indeed many avoid conflict because it is easier to deal with the animosity of a strained relationship than walk through confrontation. Recovery from both mental health and substance use disorders means learning to use practical tools to get through any situation life hands us. If you are experiencing a conflict, look to these suggestions for support.
Take Distance, Take Time
Sometimes the best we can do when we are in the face of a conflict is take time and distance from that conflict. As opposed to running away or avoiding, detaching is a proactive practice rather than a passive one. Detaching is a way of approaching conflict without immediately getting involved. Instead of diving into conflict and figuring out how you feel in the middle of it, detachment gives you an opportunity to evaluate your position on your own time. Additionally, detachment helps you to remove unhelpful emotions from the situation. Conflict can arouse autopilot reactions or coping mechanisms like ego, false pride, or judgment. In order to resolve conflict in a peaceful, healthy, and mindful manner, it is important to get right with yourself first.
Seek Guidance Before Making a Decision
Thankfully, we don’t have all the answers. However, conflict that is really conflicting can cause us to jump to some hefty conclusions. Clouded with justification and assumption, we lack the clarity we need to look at a conflict objectively. Seeking guidance can help us gain a new perspective on the situation. If we are in a conflict with a person, an outside point of view can help us to find empathy or compassion. Softening our hearts to what is going on with someone else, we can take ourselves out of the equation and realize everybody suffers; sometimes, we can all act a little out of sorts when we are struggling.
Write It Out Before You Fight It Out
Journaling or doing a twelve step inventory on a conflict is another great way to get through a conflict. There are times when negative words, accusations, and angry sentiments just need to be expressed. If we are stuck in negative emotional experiences like resentment, sometimes verbalizing that frustration can lead to emotional lethargy. We can quickly access the underlying pain, hurt, sadness, or fear, accompanied by our anger. As a result, we can approach conflict without vengeance.
Take Action
If all arrows point toward action then it is time to take it. Having processed our position, consulted others, and taken the time to work out our emotions, we can approach conflict with an open and loving heart. In any conflict resolution the worst that can happen is closure and healing. Whether conflict ends positively or negatively, it still ends.
Avalon By The Sea of Malibu is a licensed dual diagnosis facility, offering treatment for both substance abuse and mental health disorders. Treating co-occurring disorders and primary psychiatric disorders, Avalon is able to provide a comprehensive program for recovery. Settled in the iconic coastline of southern California, Avalon offers a relaxing and private environment for healing. To receive a confidential assessment or more information of our program, please call 1-855-464-8492.
