This Is What It’s Like To Live Inside The Mind Of Borderline Personality Disorder


For many years borderline personality disorder was misdiagnosed and mistreated. As one of the most difficult personality disorders to diagnose, creating the right treatment plan for borderline can be challenging. However, recovery is possible. Today, there are proven treatment methods for:

  • Out Of Body Experiences: Often, people with borderline personality disorder feel as though they are on the outside of life, on the outside of themselves, looking in. They chronically feel as though everyone else around them has a capacity to feel good, be liked, and experience love while they, the person with borderline, cannot.
  • Insecurity: Insecurity is perhaps one of the deepest and most troublesome parts of borderline personality disorder. Unsettling and nagging, the insecurity one feels with borderline dictates their actions, behaviors, thoughts, beliefs, and relation to others.
  • Hatred of the self: Part of the insecurity those with borderline experience transforms into an obsessive and self-centered self-hatred. Borderline personality disorder is often confused for narcissism because the preoccupation with the self, and everything that is wrong with the self, can become overwhelming. Projected through insecurity, clinginess in relationships, outlandish behavior, and other extreme demonstrations, the self-hatred and insecurity create dramatic episodes.
  • Paranoia and suspicion: Feeling as though everyone is talking behind their back, plotting against them, scheming to expose them, trap them, or punish them, is part of borderline personality disorder. The closer the relationships are, the more difficult trust is to maintain. When someone with borderline has been slighted, betrayed, or lied to, their paranoia and suspicion can go through the roof. Combined with hatred and insecurity, they can lash out at themselves or others.
  • Impulsivity: Through their lack of self-control is due to an inability to regulate emotions, therefore acting on emotional impulsivity, impulsivity in borderline personality disorder can take on different roles. Self-harm, attempts at suicide, substance abuse, and other spontaneous or impulsive and thrill seeking behaviors like tattoos, piercings, promiscuous sex, compulsive shopping are all common. Impulsive behaviors help the high amounts of energy and emotion be expressed while also contributing to the constant cycle of insecurity, self-hatred, and lack of identity.
  • Verbal abuse: Feeling full of boiling rage and hatred toward the self while feeling as though others are responsible for making insecurities and challenging emotions go away can lead to a short circuit in the brain. People with borderline have described feeling as though they black out or detach from their bodies when they began verbally abusing other people. Children, spouses, friends, family members, strangers- nobody is safe when there is nowhere left for the erratic emotions of borderline to go.
  • Ruminating thoughts: After verbally abusing a loved one, lashing out, acting impulsively, or behaving in some other uncontrollable way, people with borderline tend to start an endless cycle of loop thinking. Their ruminating thoughts obsess over their insecurities and deficiencies, now powered by negative behaviors for which they can endlessly criticize themselves.
  • Lack of self-identity: The name borderline in part comes from the fact that the personality of someone with borderline personality disorder has no start or finish. Struggling to maintain personal boundaries with themselves and with others, there is no definition of who they are. Not having a sense of identity or true self makes boundaries difficult to maintain. Codependency, latching onto others, and other clingy behaviors are common with borderline for this reason.

As one of California’s only primary care mental health treatment facilities, Avalon By The Sea is able to provide premiere recovery to men and women with borderline personality disorder. Providing dual diagnosis treatment as well as primary mental health treatment, our trusted programs provide healing you can trust, in mind, body, and spirit. For a confidential assessment and more information, call us today at 888-958-7511.

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